Why does she hates me?

I always asked myself why does she hates me so much? I really dunno what i did wrong.. If anything happened i am the one she will blame. In fact she has everything she got education, good job, can drive got bf. But i dont. I had to work when i was only 18. i also want to enjoy my life but i never complaint or be jealous of her... But why when there is an argument i am always in the picture. I am hurt by her words. Always accusing me of things which is not true. BUt what i go through is nothing compared to what my parents when thru. I really hope that she will realise her mistakes and realise that we care abt her. Please God help me make us a stronger person. I want to have a happy family. Please. :(

Why?

I often ask myself why is my life like this? Why things never go the way i want them to be? Why we have to get hurt? Why people must look down on me? Especially someone in family... Since young this had been my problem. I almost had a breakdown and i felt like everyone is against me...I just always tout of ending my life but is it worth it? If i just end it what about the people who cared about me? I will let them down and they will be disappointed. I just cant let that happened. What should i do? My mind is haywire. I am confused. Please god show me the way and please make me a stronger person.

Nad's Mini Bdae picnic

11th July- As planned by us we headed down to Pasir Ris beach to have our mini picnic cum Nad's Bdae...Initially the plan was to have it at the Botanicals Garden but since the weather is unpredictable we decided to have it someplace near. B4 meeting Nad, meet up with Ain and Huda to get some stuffs and also the doughnuts as the bdae cake.Finally meet up with Nad and we waited for almost 15 minutes for the bus... We are all so hungry, tired and thirsty. We travel all the way till the end and finally found a perfect spot which is near the toilet hehe.. Set up the place and start to have our little picnic... (Ain brought nuggets , fishballs and chilli sauce. Nad brought her specially made mashed potatoes. Huda bought all the utensils, drinks and ice. I bought fried noodle and honey glazed chicken wings.)After eating we decided to try on the UNO spin which Nad brought. At first we don't really understand how the game goes but we got a hang of it. BUt it was stressful as the game is never ending. :P Kenneth drop by and we changed games. Had a lot of fun talking about our school days. We also had a good laugh i guess that what all of us need most right now. It did rain in the evening and after the rain stop @ abt 8 plus we decided to leave... It was really a nice thing to do we enjoyed the peace and quiet and also the sound of nature. We feel relaxed. I really hope that we will get to enjoy this often... I really love spending time with my besties.(Here are some of the pics)

sick!!

I have been sick since Wednesday... I really don't like the feelings of getting sick. My throat hurts a lot whenever i tries to swallow.. Haiz! I can't get along of things done as my head is spinning and my back aches. How i wish all this would end soon. :(

Missing the reunion

I really felt terrible coz of all the time to fall sick is on the day i have been waiting for. Yesterday was supposed to be my class reunion but i had to miss it of all the things. Damn! I was down with a terrible fever and my tonsilities act up again. And up to that i had problem with my tooth. I was really hoping that i could meet all my friends whom i missed but guess yesterday was not the day for me. Haiz.... Hope there is another reunion coming up soon... :(

Malacca Trip cum Grandma's Bdae

Last weekend we went for a short trip to malacca as it was my grandma's bdae. we went off at abt 6 am because we don't want to get caught in the jam. All went well at Tuas checkpoint except for malaysia checkpoint. There is a bit of jam. Finally we reached the first rest place "gelang patah"@ almost 8. Had a few drinks and waited for my cousinz who were caught in the jam. Reach there almost at 9 plus. Then we headed straight to malacca. We were staying at Mahkota Hotel. It was an apartment with two bedrooms. The place was grand but dont really like the service and the recreation guard at the pool. They are abit cheeky and rude. PLace ok but service sucks.... Had a mini celebration and lucky draw. After all the cake cutting event, my two aunts, uncle , cuz aisyah and me headed down to Jonker Walk. It was so packed and there is an unpleasant smell of the chinese food. Its like a night market. Did not get much things as it was expensive. I still prefer "petaling street". But the scenery there was awesome. It was very nice. Love it... Well i guess thats about it... Overall i love it although it was short but it was fun!

Besties

Just when I think I've lost my way
Something illuminates the dark
There you are leading the way
Love shining from your heart

Many friends have crossed my path
And I thank God for them all
But I got an extra special blessing
When your friendship answered my call

You stayed by my side every step
Even when others fled
I know that because you're here
I can face whatever's ahead

Your smile and laugh urge me on
And encourage me to be strong
Your loving support helps me stand
When the road is rough and long

So much that I can thank God for:
My family and health
But when He blessed me with you
He gave me more than wealth

Mortal words could never explain
What you have come to be
You are my life, my world, my heart
You are EVERYTHING to me

Happy Birthday Grandma

Today is my grandma birthday... I just hope that Allah will always bless her in good health and always happy with her dear ones. Well we are going to go for a short trip to celebrate her bdae. Hope it will be an enjoyable and most memorable bdae ever. Love you lots. :)

Haiqel Aden

It's been 4 months i have been taking care of my cousin Md Haiqel Aden who is coming to 2 years. Both his parents are unable to take care of him due to some reasons. Hmm I really pity him. Well at first i am against the idea of taking care of him but after seeing his innocence look i started to mellow down and agreed to take care of him. At that point I just resign from my job so while waiting to get a new one i have to look after him. Soon after i feel very attached to him. He is like everything to me. Whenever he is not around i just feel lonely (guess this is how a mum feels). I have seen him grow and happy about it. He is very fast learner, he would imitate whatever he sees and when he had done something wrong he would just laugh and pretend nothing happened. I really love him alot.... Hopefully he is able to be with me for a longer period of time. I just love him so much :)

Quiting

Hey, have not been writting for a very long time. I have been busy with my work. Recently i just quit my job as a preschool teacher. Well i finally did it after a long consideration. I admit i do miss my students a lot and the life there. I have been with them for almost 5 years just imagined the bonds we shared. But i realise not everything will end in the good way. A lot of things happened when i tendered my resignation and it make me realised that the people whom you considered close will also turn their back on you. Hmm i dont really want to say much abt what happened coz it made me remember unhappines i had to go through... I am also sorry to my besties because i always neglect them due to my work. i am sorry. :( Now i just hope that i am able to get a new job and start a new life and spent it with my loved ones... Hopefully:)

Year end concert!!

Days passed and the day is nearing.... Before i know it's already the 28 of November. Thats the the day that i have been fearing. It's the year end concert. I could not sleep for days as i am afraid that my kids will not perform well as i had received negative feedbacks for the rehearsals. The concert is held at Nexus auditorium (Cuppage Plaza) at 8.30 pm. The children start coming in at 7 and the teachers and volunteers start to prepare the kids with lots of make up and fantastic head gear.I had 6 items and i was just hoping that they will do their best because of all the items my class items was one of the weakest compared to the item we had from our childcare side. The parents start coming at 8.30 pm and my heart was beating fast as my first item which is performed by my Class leaonardo da vinci k2. they are performing a drama on pinocchio and a dance item "Apologise". To my surprise they did very well better than the rehearsals. All of them remembered the lines without prompting from me. I was very happy with their performance. As for the dance they did a good job. As for my 2nd class they did a very good job too. At the end of the concert i gave them a hug each to show them my appreciation.

Why and How

I'm almost asleep almost but not quite.sleep sits like a cloudon my eyelids,spreads like a blanketover my body.and i wonderif this is all real.is he real?and if so, is he really so sweet?i ask myselfhow is this happening to me?what did i doto deserve him?because he's almost too good for me.why would he like me,of all people?and that's the question.why?the inevitable question.but should we question it?to question such a good thing...would it turn it around,because the question impliesthat it's something unwanted?but no.i want this.and i think he does, too.o God, how?how did the momentfall in to place?the moment we crossed pathesand saw each other,in depth,in truth,for the first time?and what of me, thinking these things?who am i to ask?who would i be to give answers if asked?i can only give one thing.i can give my heart.and i have already given it to him.