Pretenders

I am literally feeling so upset and frustrated now. I just do not know what i did wrong until people treating me this way. Ever since i work at this new place, I have been feeling like people hate me... Is it because of myself? My attitude? I am not saying i am perfect or whatever but i am trying my best not to hurt or offend anyone. But what do i get? Instead I am the one getting hurt. I am not trying to bootlick or steal anything from here. I know my place as a new comer. I am just working and not trying to get into anybody good book. I really had enough trying to give in, I am tired. Guess this is what you called reality and its hard to please every one.She can act and pretend but always remember god is watching.

Why does she hates me?

I always asked myself why does she hates me so much? I really dunno what i did wrong.. If anything happened i am the one she will blame. In fact she has everything she got education, good job, can drive got bf. But i dont. I had to work when i was only 18. i also want to enjoy my life but i never complaint or be jealous of her... But why when there is an argument i am always in the picture. I am hurt by her words. Always accusing me of things which is not true. BUt what i go through is nothing compared to what my parents when thru. I really hope that she will realise her mistakes and realise that we care abt her. Please God help me make us a stronger person. I want to have a happy family. Please. :(

Why?

I often ask myself why is my life like this? Why things never go the way i want them to be? Why we have to get hurt? Why people must look down on me? Especially someone in family... Since young this had been my problem. I almost had a breakdown and i felt like everyone is against me...I just always tout of ending my life but is it worth it? If i just end it what about the people who cared about me? I will let them down and they will be disappointed. I just cant let that happened. What should i do? My mind is haywire. I am confused. Please god show me the way and please make me a stronger person.

Nad's Mini Bdae picnic

11th July- As planned by us we headed down to Pasir Ris beach to have our mini picnic cum Nad's Bdae...Initially the plan was to have it at the Botanicals Garden but since the weather is unpredictable we decided to have it someplace near. B4 meeting Nad, meet up with Ain and Huda to get some stuffs and also the doughnuts as the bdae cake.Finally meet up with Nad and we waited for almost 15 minutes for the bus... We are all so hungry, tired and thirsty. We travel all the way till the end and finally found a perfect spot which is near the toilet hehe.. Set up the place and start to have our little picnic... (Ain brought nuggets , fishballs and chilli sauce. Nad brought her specially made mashed potatoes. Huda bought all the utensils, drinks and ice. I bought fried noodle and honey glazed chicken wings.)After eating we decided to try on the UNO spin which Nad brought. At first we don't really understand how the game goes but we got a hang of it. BUt it was stressful as the game is never ending. :P Kenneth drop by and we changed games. Had a lot of fun talking about our school days. We also had a good laugh i guess that what all of us need most right now. It did rain in the evening and after the rain stop @ abt 8 plus we decided to leave... It was really a nice thing to do we enjoyed the peace and quiet and also the sound of nature. We feel relaxed. I really hope that we will get to enjoy this often... I really love spending time with my besties.(Here are some of the pics)

sick!!

I have been sick since Wednesday... I really don't like the feelings of getting sick. My throat hurts a lot whenever i tries to swallow.. Haiz! I can't get along of things done as my head is spinning and my back aches. How i wish all this would end soon. :(

Missing the reunion

I really felt terrible coz of all the time to fall sick is on the day i have been waiting for. Yesterday was supposed to be my class reunion but i had to miss it of all the things. Damn! I was down with a terrible fever and my tonsilities act up again. And up to that i had problem with my tooth. I was really hoping that i could meet all my friends whom i missed but guess yesterday was not the day for me. Haiz.... Hope there is another reunion coming up soon... :(

Malacca Trip cum Grandma's Bdae

Last weekend we went for a short trip to malacca as it was my grandma's bdae. we went off at abt 6 am because we don't want to get caught in the jam. All went well at Tuas checkpoint except for malaysia checkpoint. There is a bit of jam. Finally we reached the first rest place "gelang patah"@ almost 8. Had a few drinks and waited for my cousinz who were caught in the jam. Reach there almost at 9 plus. Then we headed straight to malacca. We were staying at Mahkota Hotel. It was an apartment with two bedrooms. The place was grand but dont really like the service and the recreation guard at the pool. They are abit cheeky and rude. PLace ok but service sucks.... Had a mini celebration and lucky draw. After all the cake cutting event, my two aunts, uncle , cuz aisyah and me headed down to Jonker Walk. It was so packed and there is an unpleasant smell of the chinese food. Its like a night market. Did not get much things as it was expensive. I still prefer "petaling street". But the scenery there was awesome. It was very nice. Love it... Well i guess thats about it... Overall i love it although it was short but it was fun!